Kissing Chronicles
by Kalims
Summary: Two of the Guardians are on a quest to find the answer . . . and they can't handle the truth.


**A.N: Again, was planning to update Rebel Yell, but I need a little more time. And hey, a little comedy can't possibly hurt anyone (if we overlooked Molière's situation). ^^**

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><p><strong>Kissing Chronicles<strong>

Head bowed sheepishly, Hay Lin turned her face to the other side, letting her gaze not to be fixed on anything exactly, but to rather stare at the people coming and going from outside the restaurant's window.

She sighed ruefully. "I'm really sorry."

She heard nothing in the first couple of seconds, but then a sound of movement was made and Hay Lin was about to turn her face before she felt a slight punch on her arm.

"You moron," She was suddenly facing a grinning Will, whose hand, after delivering the punch, was now resting on the younger girl's shoulder. "There's no need for an apology. You didn't say anything wrong." The redhead comforted with honest words. She couldn't help but to smile at her friend's shy and thoughtful nature.

"You guys just split up and I'm already bringing that subject up." The Asian teen carried on, although she was admittedly feeling more comfortable.

Will snorted. "So what? If I were heartbroken then it might have been a trouble; but I'm not. Matt and I mutually broke it off. We even stayed on very good terms. We're friends now."

"Okay!" Hay Lin chirped abruptly, making the other girl reflexively pulled her hand back, as if in fear.

She thought she had all the right to; being around someone as unpredictable as Hay demanded a daring heart.

"So if you really don't mind," the Air Guardian persisted with innocent curiosity, "why did you two end it? Didn't seem like you both had problems."

"Irreconcilable differences," Will smiled. "I don't know. It just didn't work out."

"Ahum," the petite girl nodded faintly, turning again to look out of the window. The Leader came back to eating her food, struggling with the chopsticks. "Well," she heard Hay Lin's voice, causing her to look back, "I think that he called it over 'cause you're a bad kisser." She couldn't help the teasing, especially since Will was an _older_ girl.

"What?" The redhead folded her arms in disbelieve. She frowned, insulted. "Guess again, kid. I happen to be an exceptional kisser."

"Really?"

"You bet your little butt!" She replied, now her arms crossed around her chest.

Hay Lin paused. She studied the defensive and firm expression on her friend's face and realized that she meant her words one hundred percent.

The Chinese Guardian's lips first lifted up to make an amused grin, but after she got fully into the humored frame of mind, the grin became a malicious smirk, causing fear to creep yet again down Will's spine.

"Why don't you prove it?"

"Prove it?"

"Yes." Hay pressed. "Prove it! Kiss me."

The brown eyed teen watched fixedly the girl opposite of her. She laughed, letting out a nervous giggle. "You're kidding."

"I just wanna make sure." Answered the crazy one in a serious tone.

"Well I won't kiss you."

"Please?"

"No way."

"Why?" Hay Lin whined.

Will frowned, her red eyebrows furrowed in a cute way. "You're a girl, Hay. I won't do it."

"It won't mean anything. It's experimental."

"Hay Lin, no."

The Guardian sighed in frustration. She was aware her demand was fairly awkward and weird. And she also knew that Will was as firm as mountains. Moreover, she definitely knew that, when facing a supposition still not demonstrated, eagerness, inquisitiveness, and pushiness just fixed on her like the plague.

She as well usually waked great intelligence in these cases.

So she spoke the outstanding solution that came to her mind. "How about you kiss Eric, and then he'll kiss me and I would know." She smiled widely.

Will slapped her forehead. "Kisses aren't transmittable like that. And do you really want me to kiss your boyfriend?"

"It's for a good cause."

"Well, I still won't do it."

Hay Lin pouted. "I want to know and I'm not going to give up until I do! Deal with it, Will!"

The redhead rolled her eyes. _Why did I say anything from the first place! _She scolded herself. "Go ask Matt. Let him answer you himself."

Hay Lin shook her head. "You said yourself that your friends now. I don't think he'll humiliate you and say that you're a bad one."

"Why are you so certain that I can't kiss?" The Leader growled.

"I'm not; I'm just doubtful."

Will sighed, rubbing her temples. There was no escape, she assumed, but then an idea came to her mind–a way to convince Hay Lin and stop her nagging. "Why don't you go to Candracar and ask the Oracle?" She suggested.

"What does the Oracle have to do with this?" Suddenly, her eyes widened. "You didn't kiss him, did you?"

"No dummy. But he's the Oracle. He's supposed to be omniscient or something like that, right?"

Hay contemplated the proposal for a second. "It makes sense." She said. "Fine, let's go!"

The younger girl pulled Will into the basement, where they would be alone and unseen. The Keeper immediately took the Heart out and used it to open a fold leading to the Center of Infinity. But before either of them could step into it, the Air Guardian asked smirking. "Aren't you the least afraid or worried that he might not give the answer you're hoping for?"

Will's heart fell down to her trembling feet. "No." And then they stepped into the portal.

"Guardians?" The Oracle gasped–something he almost never did–when he saw the two girls walking towards him. "What are you doing here? I haven't summoned you."

"Do we always have to be here 'cause of an invitation?" Hay Lin complained, but after she remembered Irma's declared hate of coming here and leaving her priorities without a really good, really important, super un-ignorable reason, she shut up.

"We're here for a question, Oracle." Will said before glaring at Hay. "A really important one."

The bald man's smile was instantaneous. "I'm so glad you came to me for such a mature quest." He stated. "Tell me, what do you want to know? The balance between the realms? The metaphysics of creation? Or something simpler, like the psychological nature of the human being?"

"Is Will a good kisser?" The Air Guardian's fast question cut off the Oracle's thread of counting the miracles and truths behind the existence, causing him to slightly raise his brows, only understanding what she said barely.

"Is Wilhelmina what, dear Hay Lin?"

"Am . . . am I a good kisser, sir?" Will echoed.

The head of Candracar blinked twice. Various and many the times where he had thought that the girls, though young, were a fine example of maturity and wisdom.

This was not one of them.

"That is your question to me?" He wondered dubiously.

"Yup!" Both girls confirmed at once as they nodded together.

The Oracle frowned. "Very well," he felt obliged to answer any of their questions, in the least return of their services. "I do not hold the truth behind that inquiry. But I know a way to find out." He stated.

Will puckered brows. "Some Oracle you are; you're supposed to know about everything."

All of a sudden, the usually calm man glared venom at the two teens as he clenched his fists, his snow white skin clearly showing a hint of red, coming from anger. "I am sorry I disappointed you Guardians. I suppose as incompetent as I am I should leave my duties in watching over the Universe, making endless treaties with a thousand worlds, trying to sustain equilibrium between the weights of dimensions so they would not CLASH AND CAUSE THE END OF THE ENTIRE COSMOS AND FINISH EVERY FORM OF LIFE WE KNOW AND DON'T KNOW!" He roared in the most frightening voice.

The pair of Guardians backed away promptly, their hands a barrier between them and the exploding volcano as they took several steps backward. Suddenly someone grabbed them both, taking them behind a wall and leaving the Oracle to keep yelling at nothingness. "You are most definitely right! I should leave all of this time-wasting _nonsense_ and focus on the _real_ significant stuff, like _fashion_ and _dating_ and . . ."

"Boy!" Orube burst out laughing. "Luba told me he's never gotten real mad in two hundred years!"

"I guess it all bottled inside him and he let it out on us." Hay said before she sighed miserably. "Now what are we going to do?"

"Well," Orube wiped her nose as she regained her calm, "I, uh, accidentally heard your conversation . . ." Will managed not to roll her eyes. Orube was Luba's student, Luba was a cat, and we know all about the little flaw that animal had. ". . . and I know where you can find the answer."

"The Oracle did mention something about knowing someone who could help us." The redhead recalled.

Orube nodded. "A perfect place where you can really find if you're a good kisser or not."

"Great. Where is it? And how do we know?"

The girls knew something was up when the young warrior smirked.

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><p>Hay Lin's brand new boots sank in the swamp's filthy water. "Argh! The things I do for you!" She screeched at her friend.<p>

"Oh yeah?" Will answered from her place a few feet behind Hay Lin, also struggling with moving. "You're the one who insisted on finding out whether I'm right or not! This is your entire fault!"

"Whatever. Just let us be done with this already." The two girls made their way in this unfamiliar world. It was bizarre, however, that some of those worlds were so reminding of Mother Earth.

As the Guardians marched in total silence, the Leader felt a small movement behind a shrub. She stood still, focusing on the plant, right before a croak was heard.

Hay Lin ran rushing to stand next to Will. "We found one!" She said happily. Before the redhead could register, Hay had already lunged toward the source of the sound, effortlessly catching the little animal. "Kiss him!" She demanded straightforwardly.

Will swallowed. Orube's story about a whole planet of cursed beings was not very hard to believe. Nevertheless, mentioning that most of them were victims of frog-turning spells was pretty far-fetched to her.

_If the kiss broke the spell you can take for sure that you're a remarkable kisser. _Will _painfully _remembered what Orube had told them before they came here, to the requested place.

Now, the Keeper of the Heart would be amazingly satisfied if Hay Lin spread on the Internet that she was a super lousy lip-locker instead.

"Frogs are your favorite animals." The petite girl reminded her friend, as an attempt to tempt her over.

"Your favorite teacher is Mrs. Rudolph and I don't see you trying kissing _her._" Will rejoined, staring dreadfully at the green thing in Hay Lin's hands.

As the other teen chuckled for a bit, Will thought that she'd have mercy on her, yet a beam proved her wrong. "C'mon. _Kiss_!"

The redhead sighed dramatically, shook her head, and then she put up a brave face. Her faculty will not be questioned.

She took a deep breath, sucking disgust and reluctance in, and then she joined her lips together, closed her eyes shut and titled her head forward before she started to slowly close the distance separating her from the . . . lucky guy.

In the whole process, Hay Lin caught her breath as she was watching with big eyes that defied their natural almond shape.

Will felt an unwelcome moisture–_too sticky_. Her pride was the only thing that kept her from backing away in revulsion. So, grimacing awfully, she pressed on, completing the kiss the way she used to do with Matt. As soon as Will broke it, Hay Lin let go of the frog. The Leader shrieked in the most sickened voice. "That was so _wrong_! Nothing deserves this, I–"

"Will, look!" The dark haired teen yelped, and the frog _screamed_.

The girls watched as the animal, in tremendous speed, grew taller, brawnier, and into man!

Pale skin, golden hair, and three orange eyes were looking back. It was close enough to humans, naked and covered only by an aquatic plant.

He was panting, probably from shock. His hands frantically touched his entire body, from his chest to his cheeks and hair. Finally, he stopped and a smile that reached his ears was planted on his face.

He grabbed the still-stupefied Will's hand. "_Gortiana,_" he shook it intensely. "_Paladisca aimoro_! _Gortiana maku, maku_!"

"Uh," Hay Lin started, "I think he means thank you."

"I've gathered that, Hay." Will informed her while still looking at the alien. "Y-You're most welcome . . . " The transformed man let go of the redhead and turned around before he ran away with his newly-found legs, shouting gleefully in an unknown language.

Once he was completely gone, the Guardian Leader gradually grinned. She looked at her friend with a proud smirk as she crossed her arms around her chest. "So? Am I or am I not a magnificent kisser?" She asked haughtily.

Hay Lin giggled. "Fine, I admit: you were absolutely right."

"Good. Now come on, let's get back home." She was reaching for the Heart of Candracar when a frog suddenly jumped in front of them. It stayed still between the two girls, looking up at Will.

She gave him one glance but then ignored him. "C-Come on." She said as she was about to make a fold but once again she was interrupted. Another frog appeared and stopped right next to the first one. The brown eyed teen started to feel worried. "Where did they come from?"

"The planet's full of them, but they were hiding from us." Hay Lin presumed.

"Then why did they show themselves now?" Will asked although she feared the possible answer. The Air element holder was about to take another guess before several more animals of the same species emerged from everywhere and surrounded the pair of humans. The amphibians were croaking uncontrollably.

"I think they want you to turn them back." The Asian uttered.

"I kinda guessed that, Captain Obvious." Will said terrified. "Go! Shew! Shew!" She spoke to the frogs.

"I think they won't leave." Hay Lin said as even more came.

"Stop thinking and help me out!" But instead, the girl shook her head.

"They're poor people. It's our job to help those in need."

"Oh no," Will panicked, "that's not my job. They're not my responsibility. I don't work extra!" She then frowned. "Hey, you're a Guardian too; why don't you help 'em out?"

"They want you, not me." Was Hay's excuse.

"Is that so?" Will smirked. "You're right. They do want me because I'm the better kisser between us too." She stated. The dark haired girl scowled, but said nothing, which made Will try to find a way to provoke her more. "I bet that's why Eric moved away. He wanted a long distance relationship because it doesn't include a lot of kissing."

Hay Lin was red in anger. "Oh no you did _not _say that!" Before the older teen could reply, she snatched a frog. "I'll show you who the real number one over here is."

And that was how that day, dozens of people came home to their families.


End file.
